• May 30 Sat 2009 20:50
  • 无奈

14天以后就要考试了,我完全没碰到任何lecture slide
手头上海有2份报告要赶。。。
难道这就是我的大三?天啊。。。不敢想像期末考,不敢想象下半年~

觉得我每天睁开眼睛都会有不同的想法
或许会觉得一切是多么的烦躁,好想什么都不要理,逃离这一切的
也曾经默默的接受这一切,硬着头皮往前走
但是心情总是显得沉重,觉得拖着好大的一颗石头
现在的我却好像很轻松,倒不如说我觉得无奈,对这一切的压力,问题显得害怕的反照

死就死啦,讲得容易
老爸和老妈的盼望,爸爸的血汗钱
我们做子女的来和父母讨债之余,还要在和未来还债
生活,真的很难。。。。

我已经没有那种动力,没有那种想要继续打拼的念头
这样的我很可怕,感觉自己在堕落着
烦人的报告,还有厚厚的讲义叠在我身上,我不停往下掉
堕落的同时却还有人帮你打气,还有很多鼓励的话
那种感觉很矛盾。。。
我感受大家的用意,就只能说对阿,我除了加油以外还能做什么?
对不起,我最近好爱胡言乱语~
不过朋友和家人真的对我很重要,真的谢谢你们~

谢谢大家的鼓励~我会好好的~

vivian 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

today 27/5/09 meeting up my mentor
continue on my editorial
thurs 28/5/09 student learning centre appointment
meeting alexis?
finish my 311 iron and folate assignment
fri 29/5/09 iron and folate assignment due at 5pm
continue my editorial
sat 30/5/09 preparation for international food fest
continue on fosc 211 assignment
sun 31/5/09 continue on fosc 211 assignment and editorial
preparation for final?
mon 01/6/09 Queen's birday~
finish my editorial
tues 02/6/09 editorial due at 5pm
preparation for final
(03/6~07/6/09)preparation for final
08/6/09 finish 211 assignment
09/6/09 211 assignment due date
preparation for final
10/6~14/6/09 preparation for final
15/6/09 HUNT 312 final
preparation for final
16/6~17/6/09 preparation for final
18/6/09 HUNT 311 final
preparation for final
19/6~23/6/09 preparation for final
24/6/09 FOSC 211 final

-----sem break-----

vivian 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

快进入冬天了,这里的天气依然阴晴不定
不过真得越来越冷了~
很多人都说今年比去年冷多了,我想是吧
前几天8点半出门时,马路都被冰雹覆盖成一片白茫茫的道路
还以为下起雪来了,还差一点滑倒呢

现在出门手套,冷帽,外套,围巾都不能少。
整个包包都好重~
刚买不久的雨伞在第二次用的时候就宣告死亡
那一天风又大,天又冷,我又很狼狈~
看来雨伞真的不适合这里的风雨
其实冷也算了,最担心是冰雹和下雨
那种感觉超不好受,以前在马来西亚就渴望下雨
现在最讨厌下雨天!!!
地上都积水,而且本人的防水外套短缺,所以下雨天让人生气

最近还是有很多报告要赶,但是我发现我真的没有动力~
是因为打击太大,抑或我真的失去梦想?
我何时变得那么不屑?那么不堪一击?
人生?7个比划,但是却是更加复杂的大道理~

最后一年的大学生涯,放眼仅剩一个期末考和一个学期
我做了什么?还剩什么?

vivian 發表在 痞客邦 留言(3) 人氣()

Finally~ I got a break!!!
Had been buried with assignments, presentation for a few weeks…..NON STOP!!!
I intend to do all my best for every single assignment the lecturer gave us
However, it turns up with all the different marks of assignments surrounding my brain~
I always stare at the new Microsoft word document
1 min, 3 min, 5 min, 10 min………time passed~
And for the first time, I sit for the whole night without any work progress!!!
I haven’t touch my lecture notes yet, not even 1 of them~
I left all my time for my assignments!!
35% editorial?! Are u serious?!
What the hell?!
10% zinc assignment, 20% food science essay, a boundary presentation for stupid food science lecture?!
I hope this is not the hardest word load I have….at least I still can breathe
I wonder what going to happen to me after the break?
Hope I remain my normal meal; at least please don’t get hungry during midnight
Or please don’t ever try to attract me to any food, Mr. Wong!!!

Ok, going to talk about my lovely Easter break~
First I spelled wrongly that I enjoyed my “eater” break on facebook, luckily Dinnesh reminded me, or else, everyone really thought I eat a lot….
But, indeed, I ate a lot~
How to diet? Damn!
Ok, Thursday 9/4, the day before Good Friday….
I finally finished summit all my assignments!!! Feel so free~
I am sorry to both of my lecturer for HUNT 311 and FOSC211
Cz I was unable to concentrate in the lecture, so sorry~
My spirit already in holiday!!
=)
Moreover, no journal discourse for that day, feel so gooooood!!!
I remembered that I shall go gym that day, but my lazy cell did not co-operate
And I finally went to Dennis’s economic lecture….
So sorry, I find out I really have no interest on commerce paper….
Luckily I chose the correct one!
We went do our groceries that night, unexpectedly, quite a lot of food items were on special
The mince in count down was run out~
Hmmm, no pasta again~

10/4 Good Friday~
Hmmm….I did nothing that day =P
Forgot what time I woke up, just remember I went to Dave’s house for dinner
Started to know about Easter and understand the kiwi’s dinner culture and habit tho~
Cool! Was a nice dinner, we have ham and vegetable soups served with muffin and corn cakes, and we have a lot of potatoes chips, cheese and Easter chocolate eggs!!!
Dave and his wife were so kind!!
And I met some awesome people, like Harvindar, Lavelle (sorry if I spelled wrongly) and others~

11/4 Saturday
I can’t wait for that day, cz we have Malaysian society Easter trip
We went Balwin Street, mount Cargill, port Chalmers and tuner beach
It was a worth trip, I paid for just NZ 15, and I have free lunch, yeah!!
But I was so tired at the last stop,
It took 20 minutes to get down to tuner beach by feet
However, overall was a nice trip!!!

12/4 Easter Sunday
I was kinda regret that I dint go to the special movie event for Easter in the cinema
And I am stupid enough to think that I will enjoy my shopping that day
But I forgot all shops were closed on Easter Sunday including new world and count down
The street is so silent and empty….
Only a few cars and people passed by~
However, I went to Hutton’s centre at Otago museum in the morning
As there was a warehouse sale for branded product such as cosmetics, perfume and watch
I bought myself 2 bottles of perfume, Elizabeth Arden green tea and a French product named ‘Kiss”.
Hmmm, this was my 1st perfume in my life…..
Later in the evening, Dennis and I spent some good time at Starbucks (luckily it was opened)
I finally used the Starbucks coupon Cynthia gave me during my 21st birthday last year
I ordered the caramel vanilla cream blended, felt myself so happy and lucky having such a good time, really in love with Starbucks blended~
Besides, I found out myself have the same symptoms that other people have with coffee
My heart jumped a bit faster, and not very comfortable~
I think I am sensitive to caffeine, as I don’t drink coffee at all except for Starbucks blended, haha, Dennis said I am so “high-classed”!
I might look like a weirdo or some freak, cz I even hate milk
But I eat cereals with milk and eat yoghurt as well….
There were no news reported that day, only movies were showed….
I watched Charlie and the chocolate factory, in love with Johnny Depp so much

13/4 Easter Monday
I went St Clair that day!!! Finally, Again~
Haha, last time I been there was last year, around September I think~
The weather was good, many people was surfing and spending their time at the beach~
I have a nice lunch at the classic café; I ate panini and a chocolate cake and looking the nice view of St Clair.
Life was so great….
But the bad thing was I had forgotten to bring my flip flop,
And I was stupid enough to think it will be cold, I dressed up completely wrong!!!
Dennis was baring his feet on the white, smooth sand and the chilled sea water~
Me, standing far away from the edge of sea, afraid that the waves will beat me off~
TT, so jealous~
I only can be a photographer~
After spending almost half day at St. Clair, we walked to Pak n Save
I know, is very far~

14/4 Tuesday
Easter holidays end, but my lovely break continued, hehe
I went for shopping as Easter sale is still on
I bought a hat, and curl cream for my hair~
And went Tokyo garden for lunch, the price is alright for the portion but not the taste~
Later on, I went to visit Wann Zhen, finally could spend some times to look out her place~
We went to central new world in night, and finally got mince!!!
Yeah, pasta dinner return~

15/4 wed
We spent the whole day preparing for the “big” dinner tonight
At first, we plan for having flat-warming,
However we have no enough materials, equipment and skills to make so many food~
Therefore, we only having some frens to join us~
Should thank Ken so much for coming to help up for chicken curry and buy some extra ingredients with Dennis the previous day.
I made the sushi, and Dennis made the salad and help with my sushi~
Haha, and ken bring his self-made tuna to share for our lunch meanwhile we are preparing the food
Cool, we had great dinner!
And I was truly exhausted after finish washing all dishes~

16/4 Thursday & 17/4 Friday.
I actually had completed forgotten what I did on these two days
I think I watched the HK drama Sze Ying gave me
It was not a nice drama for me, I skipped a lot and some episodes were lost~

18/4 sat
I went farmers market in the early morning, 8.30am!!!
It might not very early for students who have class at 8am, but in a holiday? 8.30am?
Cz Cecilia wanted to make it earlier and some of her frens were coming as well
I dint buy much things as I forgot to bring cash, shit
I think I will go again next weekend or next time~
We had a drinking game in our flat at night,
I bought myself some peach flavored schnapps, Dennis drink flame beer, while Jah and Rah had tequila with lemon and salt~
By the way, we had chocolate and chips with reduced cream as well~
And we were playing president and asshole with poker cards…
My schnapps tasted good, I will have some in the future, haha^^
It was a great night~

19/4 sun
The time passed so fast, tomorrow uni resume!!!
And I haven’t catch up any lecture, all of my lecture notes from week 2 left on my desk, still~

Holidays end…….now study time!!!

vivian 發表在 痞客邦 留言(3) 人氣()

真的快崩溃了,全身上下每一个细胞,快爆炸了
我喘着气,快停止呼吸了
我又再一次的做梦了,而且当梦醒了后真得很可怕
不知道自己有多么的顾人怨,却还是一味的明知故犯
搏什么同情和好感喔
我本来就是什么都不会!! 什么都做不好!!! 什么都不顺!!!

vivian 發表在 痞客邦 留言(2) 人氣()